Vital Words

As a father, your role in your son’s life is crucial to his development and overall well-being. Guiding your son with the right words, actions, and attitude can significantly impact his upbringing. While every father-son relationship is unique, there are certain things every dad should say to his son daily. Be a better communicator. You can do it! It ain’t hard.

The following five phrases can help lay the foundation for a strong bond and a healthy father-son relationship.

1. “I Love You”

This one can be over-used and meaningless. Really! Think about all the “I love yous” you hear on a weekly basis… From friends and family. Don’t get me wrong…but it seems this word is used to close a conversation or leave the house in a rush. It’s often used without any soul put into it…

Fathers need to express their love for their sons daily. Saying “I love you” helps to foster a secure and supportive environment for your child, allowing him to grow up knowing that he is loved and cared for. This simple phrase can help build your son’s self-esteem, emotional intelligence, and sense of security.

By openly expressing love, fathers can also break the stereotype of men being emotionally distant or unexpressive. This teaches your son that it’s okay to express emotions and be vulnerable, which is crucial for forming healthy and strong relationships in the future.

You MUST say this sentence while looking into your son’s eyes. Or anyone else’s eyes when you’re saying “I love you”. Period. These are deep and penetrating words! Make ’em count!

2. “I’m Proud of You”

Recognizing and acknowledging your son’s achievements, no matter how small they may seem, is crucial in boosting his self-confidence. By saying “I’m proud of you,” you show your son that his efforts and accomplishments are valued and appreciated. This also encourages him to continue working hard and striving for success in whatever he chooses to do.

From Taekwondo achievements, and potty training to playing with his Pokemon Cards, it’s important to him…and it should be to you too. Use the ‘P’ word! You’re son will remember that ‘dad was proud of me’ when I did(whatever)…That’ll last a lifetime.

Remember, it’s important to be specific when praising your child. Highlight particular actions or behaviors that you’re proud of, such as completing a challenging task or showing kindness to others. This reinforces positive behavior and helps your son understand what qualities and actions are admirable.

3. “How Was Your Day?”

Asking your son about his day demonstrates that you’re genuinely interested in his life and activities. This simple question can open up a dialogue that allows you to stay connected, offer guidance, and provide a safe space for your son to share his feelings and experiences.

Raising a bi-racial child in Korea is not a walk in the park, so it’s important, to know about his day and the things that happened to him, good or bad. Bad things rarely happen(knock on wood). But, on my part, it’s a good way to know his feelings and worries.

By asking about his day, you also encourage your son to think critically and reflect on his experiences, which can help him develop problem-solving skills and emotional intelligence. Make sure you actively listen to his response and engage in a meaningful conversation, offering support and advice when needed.

You should ask him “What is the best thing that happened today at school or at the dojang and what is the worst thing?” I always get answers!

I love to read up about raising my ‘lil’ buddy and how I can improve as a father. I’ve stumbled across many daddy influencers on TikTok and over the net that emphasize on the child’s transitional periods. I Love these! So there are 3 main periods. (1) The first 3-5 minutes when they wake up. (2) Coming back from school. (3) Before bed.

Whether or not you know about these 3 phases of the day, you should think twice about how you approach these with your kid. It might mean a ‘shitty’ day ahead for them if dad or mom are grumpy in the morning and made the kid anxious.

Or, maybe your little one needs a ‘cheer-up’ moment after a bad day at school. Or, simply kissing your child on the forehead before bed and putting a soft lullaby on to soothe and relax. Use “I love you!” Don’t forget…

4. “You CAN do it”

Expressing your faith in your son’s abilities can have a profound impact on his self-confidence and motivation. By saying “You CAN do it,” you show your son that you trust him to make good decisions, overcome challenges, and succeed in his endeavors. This support can empower him to take risks and pursue his dreams, knowing that you have his back.

Your belief in your son also helps him develop resilience and determination, as he learns that setbacks and failures are a natural part of life and personal growth. Encourage him to learn from his mistakes and reassure him that you’ll be there to support him through thick and thin.

I’ve been using this with my son for years “Don’t say CAN’T. Change it to CAN.” So, now he always uses ‘CAN’ although he sometimes knows it’s not working out, whatever he’s doing at that time. But just the power of ‘CAN’ changes the perspective of what he’s doing and trying to achieve.

5. “Thank You”

Teaching gratitude is an essential part of raising a well-rounded and emotionally intelligent child. By expressing your appreciation for your son’s actions and efforts, you set an example for him to follow.

Saying “thank you” for the little things, like helping with chores or showing kindness to others, reinforces the importance of gratitude and helps your son develop a positive attitude toward life. From bringing wet clothes to get dried or help water the plants, whatever he’s doing, say “Thank You.’ These words are very powerful and make Dad and Mom feel good too!

This “thank you” expression comes back to you too. Your child will reciprocate and say the same thing to you! Monkey See Monkey Do!

My last note…

I do all these plus many more such as “I’m Sorry, it’s my fault,” “I did not mean to,” ” I don’t know what that is,” and “If you have any worries or concerns, please come and talk to me.” As previously mentioned, please look at their eyes when talking.

If your son is young, bend down to your knees and talk to him: eye to eye. When you bend down to speak to your child, he will feel more connected to you as well as more in control. This will help with his self-esteem and worth overall.

Love ’em hard because they are only young once!

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