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As a father raising an only boy, I must say that it can be exhausting at times. Parenting a single child has many positive aspects as well as a few downsides. Here are just a few viewpoints you can ponder on; whether having another child should be in your plans or simply wondering if your child is ‘lonely’ without siblings or simply just ‘fine’.

New and old generations have their own thoughts about the number of children a woman should have in her lifetime, but the pros and cons of having siblings or not having are really up to the mindset in the house, not society’s perception.

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Stereotypes about having an only child

There are many misconceptions about having a single-child household, but in many countries having only one child is the norm. Although we are living in an advanced state, it seems that for many, minds have not changed about the negative stereotypes that come with raising an only child or being one. I’ve listed a few that I’m sure you’ve heard before.

  • They are self-centered
  • They are snobbish
  • They are loners
  • They are anti-social
  • They crave attention from the parents and others
  • They play with many dolls and have make-believe friends
  • Their immune systems tend to be weaker
  • They are brats
  • They get all that they want

Advantages of the one child home

There are countless benefits to having only one child running around at home and the relationships between the parents and the child, a boy in our case, tend to be richer in all aspects as he leans on us for many things. The child that is alone will likely be a great companion to himself and they tend to mature quicker than others as well as regulate their emotions better.

Great for cost savings… Of course, I needed to push this one in. It’s obvious that one is more cost-effective than two or more, but that also goes with time and effort not just simply the money side of things.

What are the positives about having a single child:

  • They tend to have higher grades at school
  • Their IQ are higher
  • They have a higher sense of creativity
  • They have stronger bond with mom and dad
  • They have fewer behavioral problems
  • They are more mature
  • Their self-esteem is higher
  • They are Go-getters
  • They are just as good at socializing
Boy walking on train tracks

disadvantages of the one child home

I hate to think about this first one but it’s the obvious out of the list: being lonely. It’s heartbreaking for me to even contemplate that my son is ever ‘lonely’, but I can sometimes sense this. We are very proactive parents and spend a lot of time with our son to make sure that he doesn’t feel lonely. But we are not his age and we don’t have his energy…

Another big one is the possibility of our son never getting married, thus not giving us any grandkids. I can’t imagine this part. Along with greater pressure on him to take care of his elderly parents in the future, there also comes the pressure of achieving well academically and socially.

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tips on keeping a balanced home with a single child

  • They need time with other kids++Enroll them in kindergarten, Martial arts, Music classes anything to get them outside the home and get them to interact with other little ones their ages.
  • Teach them responsibilty++Keep this one simple. Give simple tasks around the house: making their beds, picking up their dishes after meals, or helping with folding the laundry.
  • Don’t set the bar too high++They might look like you, but they aren’t YOU. Kids need guidance through life’s ups and downs. They won’t have siblings to confide in, but they do have you! Keep expectations leveled and with a happy and realistic tone.
  • Be a parent before being a friend++It’s easy to fall into the friend category. They are so cute and laugh at all the jokes you tell them, but being a parent first and a friend second should always be in the forefront. That doesn’t mean you can’t act like friends at times, it simply means that there are boundaries that must be met and kept between a parent and child.

Always Be Proactive in all they do

  • Don’t hold their hands through everything++This one is a doozy. Single children will need a helping hand in many aspects of their lives especially growing up, just like any other kids, but the difference is that your child won’t have a brother or sister to ‘help’ them with stuff. Yes, you will help them and nourish them will knowledge and the parenting hacks you’ve read about, but it’s imperative that your child learns to face things alone with confidence, which will build self-esteem in the long run.
  • Teach them to laugh at adversity++We should all learn to do this. Be yourself, Teach well. Lead well. Love well and Play well. There are plenty of roadblocks that are waiting in life, it’s up to you to teach your young one how to deal with them, but also not take things always so seriously. Depends on the situation of course.
  • They are kids, don’t treat them like adults++Treat your little one according to his age. Simply stated.

These tips could go on and on and many of these also touch on kids in general. But these are near and dear to my heart.

final thoughts?

Well, my final thoughts are not yours. You can find countless parents on the internet and in your circle willing to argue the bad and good about having one child or having many. It’s no one’s business except yours. You choose to have only one or have several, not your next-door neighbor or your aunt Pauline you haven’t seen in a decade.

The fact of the matter is, you should choose what best suits you and your future you. According to several types of research, many point to the fact that having siblings has little effect on your traits, and having only one child could be beneficial for both the parents and the little one.

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